There Is Only Forward: How to Survive When Life Ambushes You

Long Story Short:

TLDR: From escaping danger in the middle of the night as a kid to surviving ambushes in Iraq, I learned survival tactics before I knew what they were. My mom's words "There is only forward" and my grandmother's wisdom about making a way shaped how I approach life's battles. Whether you're fighting poverty, building a business during a pandemic, or transitioning from military to civilian life, the principles are the same: keep moving forward, call for support when needed, and never be afraid to make your own way. This isn't just about survival—it's about turning life's ambushes into opportunities for growth. Because in combat and in life, there's only forward; everything else is just a different kind of surrender.

The Moment Everything Changed, Again

"Why can't we go back, Mom?"

I still remember being woken up suddenly out of a deep sleep and rushing to the car with my siblings. Ugh! Did he find us again? How?? We were on the run again. And we hated it..again.

I pouted again and asked the same question, but in a different way- "Why we just can't stay where we came from?"

She said 4 words as she stared straight ahead:

Learning to Fight in the Dark

There were times we had to bundle up together in blankets to stay warm because the gas was off or we got dressed in the dark because the lights were off. But we pushed through it. My mom and grandmother always made sure we were safe, and we were protected- even if they were not...

The situation was dire at times. We lamented our situation and wondered why others had nice things and we did not. We fought over what to watch because there was only 1 TV.

Finding Light in Unexpected Places

There were times we lived in shelters and halfway houses. That sounded bad but it wasn't as bad as you would think. The shelters were always safe and spacious and comforting. It allowed us, if only for a brief moment, to feel like "real kids". We had great food as much as we could eat, an insane amount of toys, and my favorite, books.

"Books weren't just an escape—they were a gateway to possibilities. In those shelter days, Remo Williams showed me that every story can be rewritten."

I picked up my love for reading and writing in a shelter in Arlington, TX. That's where I discovered my first book series, "The Destroyer," featuring Remo Williams. I was captivated by this Newark cop who was framed and sentenced to death, only to be recruited as an assassin for a secret organization called CURE. Those books transported me far beyond the shelter walls. I would lose myself in the stories, even writing my own alternate endings and revising parts of the series. By the time I was in 4th grade, I was reading at a 12th-grade level on the state test.

The shelter offered more than just books - it gave us a chance to be kids again. I enjoyed laughing and playing outside, reveling in the simple freedom of not having to walk past crackheads and drunks to go to the store.

But we survived. We stuck together. We pushed through. We not only survived, we thrived. We built resiliency, and resourcefulness, and we learned to make a way when there seemed to be no way.

“Survival means either asking for help or fighting through”

Growing up, my mom taught me that survival meant either asking for help or fighting through the hard times. Later in Iraq, these childhood lessons took on new meaning when I learned that surviving an ambush requires the same principles: you either call for support or fight through the kill zone. Life keeps teaching these same lessons.

In fact, my second time coming to Atlanta after I left the military, I slept in my car, stayed with friends, showered at LA Fitness, and had uncomfortable conversations about why I couldn't send money for Little John and Tiara (my two oldest kids now). Those first nights in my car, doubts crept in like enemy fire: "I screwed up. I'm gonna end up back in South Dallas with nothing." Their words echoed in my head - "It's harder in civilian life than in the Army. You'll be back." Maybe they were right. But I had people and organizations that helped me through it, proving those doubts wrong one day at a time.

“My mom didn't just teach us to survive—she taught us to fight with dignity”

I didn't realize until much later in life, when my businesses faced tough times, that my mom had been teaching us war lessons all along. Watching others close their businesses and return to the workforce, or worse, resort to unethical practices to survive, I finally understood. She never let us wallow in hopelessness or negative talk. She always made us take pride in what we had and where we were. She taught us to be relentless and courageous when fighting back. Running from a fight or giving up on a test was strictly forbidden.

"My mom didn't just teach us to survive—she taught us to fight with dignity. Even with empty pockets, we kept our heads high."

She taught us to be creative and resourceful - I learned to feed a family of 12 for 4 different meals in a week with about 5 items from a grocery store.

These lessons proved invaluable during the pandemic. While others advised getting government assistance and shutting down until things got better, I heard my grandmother's voice: "Make a way." So we pushed through, kept as many people employed as we could, and found creative ways to service our customers. We didn't just survive - we thrived. Our dedication during those tough times resonated with our customers, and we doubled our revenue every year for the next three years after 2020. It even led to the launching of VendorCall, our on-demand platform for multi-family and retail property managers.

“You're not admitting defeat by seeking help”

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is suffering in silence. Whether it's pride, shame, or just not knowing where to turn, too many of us try to fight our battles alone. I did it too. When I started in business I struggled unnecessarily because I was afraid of “what people may think”. I remember struggling to make payroll because I the invoicing schedule from clients did not come fast enough to cover payroll every other week. It wasn’t until I ran into another franchisee at a conference with 360clean and he simply said, “Just switch your payroll cycle to bi-monthly” Wait, I had been killing myself for nothing for 2 years? I then learned about business credit, lines of credit and all these other things I had been too afraid to ask because I would look bad. But here's what I've learned: there are always people and resources willing to help if you're brave enough to ask.

In the military, we call this "force multiplication" - why fight with just your own strength when you can multiply your force with allies? The same principle applies in life. Whether it's:

• Veterans organizations that helped me transition

• Friends who offered their couch when I needed it

• Community resources I didn't even know existed until I asked

• Mentors who showed me new possibilities

The key is to be willing to ask. You're not admitting defeat by seeking help - you're actually showing tactical wisdom. Remember, even the strongest warriors need support sometimes.

"Shoot, Move, and Communicate" A Field Artillery Motto

Here's what combat and life have taught me about surviving when you're ambushed:

1. Take Pride in What You Have

   • Use your current resources, no matter how limited

   • In combat and in poverty, you fight with what you've got

2. Stay Moving

   • Whether you're escaping danger or pushing through enemy fire, stillness is your enemy

   • Keep taking steps forward, no matter how small

3. Build Your Support Network

   • In combat, we never fight alone

   • In life, don't be afraid to call for backup when you need it

4. Stay Creative

   • Sometimes survival means finding new ways to solve old problems

   • My mom could make a meal from nothing - that's tactical resourcefulness

5. Keep Your Fighting Spirit

   • When your back is against the wall, that's when you need your courage the most

Possibility Begins With Action

Because much like the battlefield, life can be a fight for survival. Sometimes there are no good options. You just have to go with your gut and make a move. That's true whether you're in combat, running a business during a pandemic, or trying to keep your family warm when the gas is cut off.

If you lay down or quit, you probably won't make it. And you can't go back - time doesn't go backwards and usually back there is where the problems started. Remember what my mom taught me: There is only forward, baby. Everything else is just a different kind of surrender.

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Remember: There's always a way forward, and you don't have to find it alone.

About the Author: John Thomas is a combat veteran, entrepreneur, and advocate for veteran empowerment. Through his newsletter and community, he helps others transform challenges into opportunities for growth and success.

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